Advice for the Bride
As newly engaged, the amount of advice, questions and information you are receiving can be overwhelming. Whether warranted or not, your family and friends will be soliciting their opinion and perhaps even demanding certain things be done.
It is important to remember that there is a happy balance when receiving this information: the advice should be taken into consideration gracefully, the decision whether or not to implement it should be between the couple.
Everyone has an opinion, whether good or bad. It is important to remember that this is ultimately you and your fiance's day, not theirs no matter how close you are to this person.
Changing the Date
If you and your fiance are talking about the date of your wedding, and a family member or friend asks, or even begs you to change it, talk about it. Don’t give them an answer there on the spot.
Questions to Consider:
- Are you in the preliminary stages of planning, where nothing has been booked?
- In this case, does the date work for YOU?
- How important is this other event, and will you be devastated if this family member or friend doesn’t show up?
YOU and only you should have the final say on the dress you finally decide on. Whoever you wind up inviting to your dress scouting appointments will have an opinion, and that is what you have to expect when asking people to come with you.
This is why you should reduce the amount of people you bring if you want the decision making process to be easier. A good happy medium would be 1-3 additional people to bring along with you during your dress appointments. Take their opinion gracefully, and leave the final decision up to yourself.
Contributions towards the wedding are expected from the grooms and brides mom and dad, and the couple themselves. That money should be cherished, thanked for and taken gratefully.
Considerations and advice should be taken and considered, of course, as to how that money ought to be spent. However… how that money is allotted should be up to solely the couple. Moreover, those who are not contributing financially really should NOT have any say in the budgeting.
This includes the guest list, because the more people, the more costs. If someone desperately wants to include more people on your wedding guest list, consider it, but stick within your budget. If they threaten you with repercussions then they weren’t meant to be a part of your big day.
Some people may want to have a say in WHERE the wedding takes place. This could be because the interested parties may be from out of town, or they want a say in how much you spend on the venue. Considerations should be taken with grace and consideration, just as with all opinions, warranted or not. However, whatever their reasoning may be, pick a venue that you and your partner like, not the guests. This may sound cold, however this is your wedding and you are the ones who will remember and cherish the day the most.
In the early stages of planning a wedding, friends and family might give you ideas and inspiration from their past weddings when choosing a theme. Take their ideas into consideration, and once you have selected your color scheme and wedding theme, STICK WITH IT. Don’t change it. Be determined that you chose this theme for a reason, and you are not going to steer away.
When it comes time to decorate the hall, whether that be you or the wedding planner, you should have done a mock table by then. Take a picture of this mock table and have those who are setting up recreate that table. If a family or friend tries to change it, kindly remind them to stay on track. If they don’t, find someone else to help with the tables and assign them to a new role.
The lesson to be learned, in short, is to take every opinion gracefully. Listen to them and take their opinion into consideration. But leave the final decisions to you and your partner.